Friday, December 3, 2021

“Don’t Stop”

One of the hardest moments of my life was standing in the hospital room, watching the nurses and doctors performing CPR on my brother - them taking turns trying to save him.... while I prayed my soul out.... and then.... watching them stop... Me - Screaming for them not to stop... “No. No. No. Don’t stop.” ...wishing there was SOMETHING I could do - anyone could do... tears flooding down my face... all oxygen left my body. I couldn’t breathe. I almost threw up... it broke me to see them stop trying... I couldn’t understand or believe this was happening... and then... eventually everyone left the room. 

I climbed in the stretcher with my brother and just held him in my arms (breathing him in, knowing it would be the last time I’d hold him, touch him, see him)... I laid my head on his chest, wrapped my arm around him, and I stayed... until someone finally made me let go... made me leave the room. I didn’t want to leave him there - alone. 

Days like today - it hits me so hard that I’m the one who was left alone. ♥️💔

Missing you like crazy: Mom, Dad, Brother

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