Friends & Family - Godsent

"Two are better than one... If one falls down, his friend can help him up. 
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I'm not sure people realize how much of an effect they can have on the life of another person. As I am sitting here thinking of my Brother and how much I miss him... how HARD this is, has been, and will be... I find myself thinking of each and every person who has been here for me (each in his or her own special way) from the day we lost my dear Brother, up until this very moment, and who I know will continue to "help me up" in the days to come. I would like to publicly thank my family, my friends, and even acquaintances for the love, care, concern, and sympathy that has been bestowed upon me. I thank God for placing each of you in my life, for He knew how much I would need you. In the first few days and weeks, I did not think I could or would make it. Having already lost my Mother, I felt this was IT. This would surely break me. I could not truly be expected to go on. The pain almost consumed me, from the inside out. I felt as if a part of me had died that day in the hospital, that a part of me left with my Brother. I didn't eat. All I did was CRY and sleep. I remember, even as I slept, I prayed that it was all a terrible dream. I prayed that when I would awaken, he'd be there - alive and well. I'd throw myself in his arms and tell him about the HORRIBLE dream I'd had and how much I love him. He'd tell me that it was just a dream and that everything was okay... then I'd open my eyes... The weight on my chest would tell me that it wasn't just a dream... and I'd die all over again. 
My grandmother was there with me for the first few weeks and I truly thank God for her. As far back as I can remember, she has always been there to "help me up". I can't imagine how she must have felt, seeing me like that. I remember her urging me to eat, or at least, to drink something. I remember her holding me as I cried myself to sleep. I remember her praying for me. I remember her taking care of my precious daughter - taking her to school, picking her up, cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner... Thank you God, for my dear Granny.
I remember my phone ringing. I couldn't bring myself to answer it, but that didn't stop my friends and family from calling and texting. Eventually, I read those texts of love and concern, and I can't express how much it meant to me. I listened to each voice mail and I was comforted by the love and the sympathy. I remember those who visited me at home. I remember not wanting to get out of the bed, but pulling myself out. I remember sitting and talking with my visitors - sometimes even smiling. I remember the cards, the flowers, each gesture made an imprint on my heart and remains today. 
During times of loss and pain, sometimes people have the desire to "help" or to "do something", but they just don't know what to do. Nothing they can think of seems adequate. I am writing this, not only to thank all those who have been there for me, but also to let anyone who reads this know that every gesture - however simple or grand - is meaningful... There were days that I was out and about, working or running necessary errands, and I would be on the verge of tears, barely holding myself together and a co-worker, a patient, a stranger in passing would offer a smile, or a gentle touch, and it seemed to be God's way of encouraging me, letting me know He was there. We never know what people are going through. We never know. How many times in one day, could we be that to someone else? How much does it cost us to smile? 
During my brother's funeral, a woman (I apologize that I can't recall who), thanked everyone for being there for us (the immediate family) - and I remember her asking/challenging everyone to "not forget us in the weeks, months, and even years to come", reminding everyone that we would still need their love and support in the days to come. I thank God for her. I thank God for everyone who continues to pray for us.
I remember receiving a care package in the mail, maybe a month or so after everything. It was a Tear Drop Necklace (also known as a Forget Me Not)... it came with this insert:

There will come a day
when the tears of sorrow
will softly flow into
tears of remembrance...
and your heart will begin
to heal itself...and grieving
will be interrupted by episodes
of joy...and you will hear
the whisper of hope.
There will come a day
when you will welcome the
tears of remembrance...
as a sun shower of the soul...
a turning of the tide...
a promise of peace.
There will come a day
when you will...
risk loving...
go on believing...
and treasure the
tears of remembering.

 That Tear Drop Pendant, touched my heart in such a special way. I remember thinking of how thoughtful that gift was. I remember reading the insert over and over again. Wearing the necklace, running my fingers over it, and thinking of being reunited with my Mother and Brother, of not having to shed another tear. I know I thanked you before, but I thank you again for such a thoughtful gift, for being there to "help me up." Thank you for every word of encouragement, for being a shoulder I could cry on.

I'd like to thank my Sister for always being there for me. Thank you for being you and for knowing me and loving me. On the days that I couldn't get out of bed, you did nothing but climb in the bed with me, and lay there. Not a word was spoken, but I never heard, "I love you and I'm here," more clearly. Thank you.

I thank my daughter and my niece for being the little angels that they are. I thank God for my baby girl. Her love is truly unconditional. She is truly my smile. I thank God for my niece - my Brother's love lives on in her. I see him everytime I look in eyes. She even has his smile. Thank God for our girls.

Thank God for our little Brothers. James they looked up to you, more than you know. Very much in the way that you looked up to me. Now they are living to make you proud. They are doing a good job too. You should see how they take care of their big sister. You taught them well babe.

There is no way I could thank every single person individually here and I pray no one feels slighted. Just the opposite - I pray EVERY single person knows how much I thank them and appreciate them for every gesture - simple to grand. 

There are even times, people have been there for me and not even realized it! There have been times I felt myself getting down, sometimes in the midst of tears, and I'd get an email or a phone call from a friend, maybe an invitation to lunch or a movie. If/when someone crosses your mind, take the time to let them know you are thinking of them. You never know what they are going through, and just the fact that you are thinking of them could be just the thing to "help them up". It's the little things that can make such a big difference in our lives. Not everyone I know, knows my journey, yet they have been there to "help me up". Thank you God for surrounding me with "friends" to "help me up". I pray that I am able to do the same.

"Two are better than one... If one falls down, his friend can help him up. 
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

This is my thanks to YOU, for remembering my Brother with me, and in the process, helping me up.